Now, you might see that picture right above this and think: “Alex, what the heck is a Zipper doing on Forgotten 5?”
Well, what if I told you that the Akron Zips used to be called the Akron Zippers? It’s the truth, they changed to just being the “Zips” after the zipper gained popularity. It is absolutely time for Akron to bring back the Zippers, because the Zips makes little to no sense and Zippers would just be fun. Imagine the marketing opportunities or something.
So now that you see what I’m doing…
NICKNAMES THAT SHOULD NEVER COME BACK
Bowling Green…. wait for it, wait for it…. Normals. Yes, the Normals, how boring is that? But Bowling Green isn’t the only one with this terrible name, schools like, San Jose State, Central Michigan, Southern Miss all had names that were either the Normals or Normalites.Southern Miss was also once the Confederates, do I need to explain why that name shouldn’t come back? I’m going to go with no, moving on. I get that you were all teaching schools and were not very clever but come on.
Actually, side note to mention the sixty bajillion schools who changed their names from “Indians” or “Savages” or something like that. Even the schools that went with “Redmen” as a colonial reference but changed their name anyway, just in case.
Now moving on…
Dear Tulane and Tulsa, do not bring back the Olive and Blue or the Orange and Black. Thanks.
Lastly let’s make sure that Western Michigan never reverts to the Hilltoppers. Let’s let Western Kentucky have that one.
NICKNAMES THAT SHOULD COME BACK
Now some of these teaching schools went a step above Normalites and all the way to…The Teachers! Show some love to East Carolina, Memphis, San Jose State, and Troy. Bonus points for San Jose State, who was also once The Pedagogues (I can’t even begin to imagine the mascot).
The Arkansas State Gorillas. That’s just amazing and has little to do with the state of Arkansas unless they have a bunch of gorillas running around and I just haven’t heard about it. This is another one with great potential for a super ferocious addition to the live mascot category.
Florida schools, I don’t understand what you are doing. Why would USF ditch the “Brahman” in Brahman Bulls? What is to be gained? And you, Florida International, don’t act like you’re all innocent either. On what planet was it a good decision to drop the FIU Sunblazers name and go with just “Golden Panthers”, which you have since made worse by removing the color? Seriously you guys.
Speaking of colors, maybe even true colors, one of my personal favorites was the Kent State Silver Foxes. That is 500 times better than the Kent State Golden Flashes, especially since their mascot could be a fox instead of some sort of bird. Speaking of birds, can North Texas bring the Eagles back? The Mean Green sounds awful, your mascot is already an eagle, just change the name back.
The Georgia Southern Blue Tide sounds cool, I don’t know if I’d bring it back, but it’s cool. The Troy Red Wave sounds similar to the Blue Tide and is perhaps given to too many creepy interpretations, so let’s leave that one as is.